I started the “Behind the Lens” series a few weeks ago to begin sharing a little more about myself. My dream of this new blog and website is to not only blog on Her Heart is Glad more spontaneously, but to also plan more strategic personal posts for my photography blog. I love reading personal tales and stories from other’s with blogs and I love writing them too! So hopefully y’all will enjoy these as well. 🙂
Matt and I have entered a season where we are spending more time apart due to work travel. I don’t love it, but know it’s only for a season. This time apart though is rough. My heart goes out to those, especially military spouses, who have to be separated from their loved ones for months/years at a time because a week for me is miserable. Granted, I’m probably more clingy than most, lol.
Having met and dated throughout college, Matt and I have done long distance before. Summer breaks and our long distance 6 month engagement, I thought would prepare me for being apart now. But I feel like everything is completely different. Long distance marriage is way different than long distance dating.
When we were dating, I missed Matt terribly, but I didn’t miss him the way I do now. Then he was still my best friend, but now he’s my forever, committed, not-going-anywhere, for-better-or-worse best friend. When I really sit and ponder marriage, it makes me laugh. It’s so strange. Two imperfect people cling to each other and enjoy/bare each other’s quirks and weirdness and create their own strangeness together. Some of the things Matt and I do that are “normal” for us would either be incredibly strange to others or I’d just never do with anyone else, not even my other best friends. The other day I had 10 minutes left on the timer for dinner and Matt was sitting on the couch doing flash cards on his phone. I instinctively went over and seriously invaded his space being super cuddly and clingy. But even though he was in the middle of something, he didn’t budge an inch and just put his arm around me because it was totally normal. I would never do that with anyone else, but us (just like lots of other marrieds) it’s an everyday occurrence and 100% normal.
And I think it’s those things, those oddities and strange-quirky qualities that make our marriage and friendship so strong, which makes distance so tough.
I like to think of the Winnie The Pooh quote while Matt is away “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Those days and nights when Matt is away are hard for me. I miss silly little things like hearing his desk chair creak in the office or finding things that I’ve placed moved. But I so look forward to his return and am so grateful the Lord brings him safely home.
While I don’t like being apart, there is growth in every season. I can already see the Lord working in our hearts and strengthing our marriage. I love Matt more and more each day and I’m so, so undeserving of the blessing of marriage.
This just echoes my last post in my heart behind wedding and couples photography. I love capturing couples as they are in all their quirks and strangeness. It’s not only what makes them unique and beautiful, but is what they love about each other and that’s what photography is all about – reminders of your love and remembering who you are and how you felt. Goodness, I love my job and hope it can be a blessing in seasons of long distance marriage.